"One must therefore say the it is the lack of a teacher who could make you aware of that which is appropriate for beginners studying this wisdom (Kabbalah)....as in truth our early Kabbalist Sages said that this wisdom (Kabbalah) does not lend itself to be studied from books and writings, but rather directly from real live sages." (1)
As a teacher of Torah based Kabbalah, transmitted to me by my Rabbi, Rabbi Joel David Bakst, I am aware of the desire to have a teacher to transmit wisdom. Before HaShem connected me to Rabbi Bakst, I was learning in books basic concepts of the tree of life and Kabbalah. But in deep humility I realized that this body of knowledge was outside of my true scope and I needed to goto the Master's of Torah and Kabbalah to study and learn from them to understand this information.
I get emails from people from all over who want to discuss Kabbalah with me, but you can see they may have spent many years learning the language of the Ari and knowing the basic Kabbalistic ideas and gematria and working in PRDS on some level, but because they are studying by themselves and have no chavrusa (study partner) or teacher/master there works either become distorted, begin becoming borderline chaos or at worse become just a selfish knowledge hungry endeavor that eventually leads to ego and distortion of the true Torah Kabbalah.
It is imperative that you pray to ask HaShem for a teacher to help you in your Torah Kabbalah studies. I understand full well that those of us coming from the nations, wherever we are on the spectrum, even those of us observant Jews, do not have access to great masters of the Torah, as it is the times. But I do believe that if you pray, just as I did and have a desire in your heart to learn and to learn from someone who has studied under the masters and has the transmissions, that you will gain more wisdom, knowledge and understanding than you could have achieved on your own.
The Holy One, Blessed be He, has created a triune system. It is a system of channels that we as Jews recreate daily by the encoded prayers and mitzvoth we do. We create the right pillar of the tree of life first thing in the morning by our prayer of Modi Ani, "We are Grateful." We then through awareness and prayers build the left pillar and then the center column. When we connect to these channels and manifest them daily by our "seder" or order of our prayer and lifestyle, we are creating the direct connect channels to the Holy One. We are called 'builders' and that we must do! We are not only told to create the channels, but to draw the light into this world~true light-workers!
It is incumbent upon a good master/teacher to teach his/her students how to make proper "yichudim" (unions/connections), how to connect, how to learn, how to have a passion and love for Torah, Mitzvoth and HaShem. We need the 'other' in our life to help us achieve these goals, we cannot walk the path alone, we are meant to be in that triune structure, in this case, the top at the pyramid is HASHEM, the right side is YOU and the left side is THE OTHER (friend, study partner, master). This is the design and this is how information flows from above to below and it is through this union that we come closer to our higher self, HaShem and the ultimate goal of Messianic Consciousness!
If your on this journey and your lost, confused or just needing to connect, the Adamic Center of Waco is the place for that support. We are here to help you "grow and know" more about Torah and Kabbalah and assist you on your learning journey!
(1) Shomer Emunim (The Guardian of Faith) by Rabbi Ergas, translated by Avinoam Fraenkel